We spent the first thirty minutes watching a video of men being interviewed about many different questions women have about the inner workings of a man's heart. It doesn't take long to realize why we have the push and pull between the sexes and how if we just understand where the other is coming from we can have better harmony.
Do men and boys want to be delighted in? Yes, they want to please you and to know they have what it takes to be your hero. What makes them stop trying and become passive? When we don't value what they tried to do on our behalf and only focus on what was lacking about it. Practice makes perfect but some times we don't give them room to grow. We may even be more gifted or skilled in an area and we would just rather do it ourselves.
There core question is do they have what it takes to be a strong man, a hero in their women's lives.
Have you ever thought through how that question may have been answered in the life of the men you love, your sons, brothers, fathers and husbands? Can a woman answer the core question of a man's heart? Only God can answer the man's core questions. A man goes to Eve to offer his strength. He does not go to her to get it.
The same holds true for Eve, She can not look to Adam for the validation of her soul. But many women do, and feel if they have a man they are o.k. The men in the video said women are an emotional abyss and they know they can not fill it. God made it that way so we would come to Him, He alone can fill it.
Only God can tell us who we are.
What can a woman do to encourage and strengthen men? Not expect him to fulfill us. We need to offer our softness, to believe in him and to need his strength. To tell him he has what it takes.
What does it say when we refuse to be vulnerable.....you have nothing to offer me. I don't need your strength. We attack, dominate, make them fill uninvited and unwanted. How often we don't even realize what message we are sending! We can think in our minds we are doing something positive for them in being strong ourselves for them but in reality they long to rise up and be the strong hero. And they can be what God intended if we allow them the room to struggle, make mistakes and grow in this with out pointing out there shortcomings all the time. This takes patience and sometimes we are in such a hurry to just live life we just take right over.
I Peter 3:6 "Life Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters in you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
How does this verse relate to living a life of love? I don't think we have to live life in fear that if we give grace to our men in love that it may not turn out perfect. We just need to do what is right and be that inviting place of beauty, and resting. If we struggle to make life perfect we are not resting. Are we soft, showing we need our men and appreciating what they are able to bring to us.
I don't know about you but God showed me through this study some times I need to work on and change. We can easily fall into the pattern of the world for women that we are strong and we don't need anyone at all. But we don't realized that as we reached out to be loved we are at the same time pushing men out with our lack of vulnerability . It's time to bring the walls down that separate us.