This is the very last lesson and it's gone so fast! We started out all together watching a video of a speaker talking about how hard it was to let go of her daughter and entrust her to God. The harder she tried to control the situation the more she was forced to let go. And the more she let go the more she learned to enjoy life. Deb S. also shared her letting go of her daughter Sam and how we can really believe we are doing what we think is in the best interest of our child when in fact we are not allowing them to try things on their own. This was such a intense time for Deb that the emotions are still there when retelling the story.
Deb was successful in letting go but it took time. I will tell you Deb's daughter is an incredible girl, and she has made choices that any parent would be proud of. Sam is gracious and loving to everyone she comes in contact with (that rates high on my list). She loves God with her whole heart, strives to do her best in school and is a hard worker at her job. Yes, you can let go and the world will not fall apart, you can see Sam rose up to the task beautifully. Of coarse she has a good role model to follow in Deb.
My own daughter is a senior in high school this year so I know the feeling too. But I also have a son who is 24 and is on his own for the first time this year in his new house. After living in a large living area in our basement for years while he finished college I was still wondering as he was moving will he live without dusting for a year like he does here? Will he have piles of clothes everywhere? Will he remember to pay his bills? Well he also stepped up to it in a way that surprised me. He actually can pick out things for his house that match and look good. Because it is his house he has taken ownership and pride in his investment. And he has done well with staying in his budget.
I think we take a freeze frame and advance it to the future and think how are they ever going to be capable to making it on their own. We should all be glad we weren't judge on how we were as teenagers to how we would be as adults or we would indeed all be in trouble! There are times our children are going to make choices we don't agree with but from my experience God has every single time through prayer stepped in, when we as parent's could do nothing but pray.
Deb's group talked a lot about the influence of a mother. The other part of the chapter talked about female friendships which our group talked more about that aspect. Stasi talked about her relationship with her mother and how she felt she had been a disappointment to her mother as a daughter. Stasi admits she did make a lot of mistakes growing up. Stasi and her mom would disagree about everything and so for 15 years they just talked about the weather. Finally God revealed to Stasi that she made her mother feel the same way she felt....like she was a disappointment. An embarrassment. A failure. And she said with clarity she felt her mother's sorrow. She realized in that moment her mother wanted to like her, know her and enjoy her just as much as she wanted her mom to do for her. She had withheld her acceptance from her. And she realized for the first time how deeply she had wounded her.
Stasi felt compelled to make it right with her mom and she did. One month later her mother found out she was dying and four months later she did indeed die. How gracious was God in putting that on Stasi heart so she would have that healing time with her mother.
We may not physically give birth but we are all called to mother. And all women are called to give birth. Women give birth to all kinds of things--to books, our churches, creative expressions, to ideas, etc.
When we enter into the our world and into the lives of those we love and offer our tender and strong feminine hearts, we cannot help but mother them.
MY SISTER,MY FRIEND
We all have many people who mother us rather they are neighbors, teachers, sisters, or friends. Women must have women friends because we have a vast need for relationships that a husband and children can not met. Women friends become the face of God to one another the face of grace, of delight, of mercy.
Now I do know a lot of women have expressed that they have a history of not trusting women, just stick with me if you are one of those women. God's word has much to say about the issue which may just clarify things for you.
If you are like me you may not have seen your mother having healthy friendships or you may have thought it was your duty to bring everyone into your inner circle to try to win them over with Christ's love. And there may be times when God with wants you to minister to certain people but it is still not letting them in your inner circle. You may only have one in the inner circle and that's ok. If you truly have none I do believe God can give one through prayer so don't give up. When you are in a toxic friendship you are going to be drawn in to a battle with anger and that's not where God wants for you.
Web MD has a list of signs of Toxic Friendships
People who are negative, criticize, belittles, or puts you down.
Make you feel unhappy, unhealthy and unequal.
Expect you to pick them up.
Drain the life right out of you.
Lies to you, makes promises they don't keep.
Wants all your time.
Is jealous of you.
Has a lot of drama in their life.
You want friends who have the fruits of the Spirit, love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self control. Also a healthy friendship has a balance of give and take. We must nurture a friendship.
Just to remember to give grace because we are not perfect this side of heaven and we can be good friends to each other but never the perfect friend.
Thank you for taking the journey with us through this great book. We will be announcing a new topic in Feb. 2011.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Lesson 9 Chapter 12 A Irreplaceable Role
I love the part in the book where Stasi writes "History is still unfolding and your existence on this earth as a woman is proof that you have an irreplaceable role to play. You are a woman, are you not? An ezer kenegdo to your core. Your lingering disbelief (may it be fading away) that anything important hangs on your life is only evidence of the long assault on your heart by the one who knows who you could be and fears you.
There is much life saving that needs to be done yet, and someone needs to do it. Not in a pressure-filled, you'd better get to it kind of a way. Rather, an invitation. Your feminine heart is an invitation by your Creator. To what? To play an irreplaceable role in His Story. "
What destinies are hanging on to you saying yes? Remember the verse in the Bible that says God has made good works for you to walk in before you were even born? And in Acts chapter 17 it talks about how he put us in a specific time and place. Our lives are not random at all, what is God inviting you to?
The book talks about how Mary, mother of Jesus was invited to be the mother of Christ, and her saying yes, may it be as you have said, was the invitation God gave her to live and have an irreplaceable role in His Story.
What is God inviting you to....a relationship with him first and foremost. As we are increasingly healed and growing in Christ, God restores our desires to us. Some of us are being recovered and others are being discovered. Is God restoring any desires in you?
Now in our Bible study time with the women I must admit we were pretty lost about our desires. I think most of us have very little time to think much less dream. I would sure love some comments on this how we can change this.
The next part of the book was on what role women play in relationships. Women are the ones who keep relationships going and make them a priority. Stasi says in the book " You have an irreplaceable role in your relationships. No one can be to the people in your life who you can be to them. No one can offer what you can offer. There are many things God calls us to do, but loving well always comes first. And don't your relationships feel opposed? Of course, They must be fought for."
"The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?)
We have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe. We feel so deeply that if it doesn't go well, if we are not received well, their reaction becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts. We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed."
We could all relate to that statement in red. This is the struggle the enemy comes against us in, can I be transparent with others? Can I be lovable just the way I am and have anything of value to give in a relationship? The answer is YES! We don't have to wait to offer our lives until we have our act together. If we did, would anyone ever feel like offering anything? God asks us to be vulnerable. He invites us to share and give in our weaknesses. He wants us to offer the beauty that he has given in our weakness even when we are keenly aware that it is not all that we wish it were. He wants us to trust him.
If we continue to hide, much will be lost. We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and only offer who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. What freedom we have found in our circle of women being able to share the deepest parts of ourselves, we have knit our hearts together. Yes, right here at COB and none of us will be the same again.
One by one we let our guard drop sharing sometimes shame that we had been carrying, painful struggles, doubts we had about ourselves. The love and tears for each other has been overwhelming and heartfelt. We are each others cheerleaders now and have taken great delight in every step forward and every prayer answered on each others behalf. This is how God meant for it to be. We get our strength and hope from seeing what God has done for each one us. The enemy wants us to hide, we can not receive support in prayers or feel the love of Jesus coming through our sisters on our behalf unless we will share our deepest parts.
There is much life saving that needs to be done yet, and someone needs to do it. Not in a pressure-filled, you'd better get to it kind of a way. Rather, an invitation. Your feminine heart is an invitation by your Creator. To what? To play an irreplaceable role in His Story. "
What destinies are hanging on to you saying yes? Remember the verse in the Bible that says God has made good works for you to walk in before you were even born? And in Acts chapter 17 it talks about how he put us in a specific time and place. Our lives are not random at all, what is God inviting you to?
The book talks about how Mary, mother of Jesus was invited to be the mother of Christ, and her saying yes, may it be as you have said, was the invitation God gave her to live and have an irreplaceable role in His Story.
What is God inviting you to....a relationship with him first and foremost. As we are increasingly healed and growing in Christ, God restores our desires to us. Some of us are being recovered and others are being discovered. Is God restoring any desires in you?
Now in our Bible study time with the women I must admit we were pretty lost about our desires. I think most of us have very little time to think much less dream. I would sure love some comments on this how we can change this.
The next part of the book was on what role women play in relationships. Women are the ones who keep relationships going and make them a priority. Stasi says in the book " You have an irreplaceable role in your relationships. No one can be to the people in your life who you can be to them. No one can offer what you can offer. There are many things God calls us to do, but loving well always comes first. And don't your relationships feel opposed? Of course, They must be fought for."
"The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?)
We have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe. We feel so deeply that if it doesn't go well, if we are not received well, their reaction becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts. We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed."
We could all relate to that statement in red. This is the struggle the enemy comes against us in, can I be transparent with others? Can I be lovable just the way I am and have anything of value to give in a relationship? The answer is YES! We don't have to wait to offer our lives until we have our act together. If we did, would anyone ever feel like offering anything? God asks us to be vulnerable. He invites us to share and give in our weaknesses. He wants us to offer the beauty that he has given in our weakness even when we are keenly aware that it is not all that we wish it were. He wants us to trust him.
If we continue to hide, much will be lost. We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and only offer who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. What freedom we have found in our circle of women being able to share the deepest parts of ourselves, we have knit our hearts together. Yes, right here at COB and none of us will be the same again.
One by one we let our guard drop sharing sometimes shame that we had been carrying, painful struggles, doubts we had about ourselves. The love and tears for each other has been overwhelming and heartfelt. We are each others cheerleaders now and have taken great delight in every step forward and every prayer answered on each others behalf. This is how God meant for it to be. We get our strength and hope from seeing what God has done for each one us. The enemy wants us to hide, we can not receive support in prayers or feel the love of Jesus coming through our sisters on our behalf unless we will share our deepest parts.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Lesson 8 Chapter 8 Beauty to Unveil
We started out with Deb S. sharing her many stories how fear griped her so many times in her life, some coming from within herself and some from her surroundings. How she tried to overcome them unsuccessful and later successful and what God was teaching her through all this. She also included a sheet from the book "Breaking Intimidation" by John Bevere. Someone had given it to her and she was surprised at how under the radar this had been for her, the true causes. This book turned her thinking and life around. Deb S. had also given me a copy a long time ago and I'd have to say the same thing for myself, that it helped me turn things around that I didn't even know was going on (I had thought at the time why is she giving me this book, I don't suffer from this!). Pick up these sheets on the information desk they are with last weeks lessons. If you can't buy it they should have some at the library that you could check out.
In our groups we talked about our biggest fears. Number one among all the women was fear of rejection. To talk about the fear was important because if we really fear lack of acceptance we will build walls, and our beauty that God gave us for other will never shine through. We read together from the book on page 138 A woman who is striving invites others to strive. The message sometimes implicit in her actions, sometimes explicit through her words---is, "Get your act together. Life is uncertain. There is not time for your heart here. Shape up. Get Busy. That's what is important." She does not say, "All is well. All shall be well." Her fear doesn't allow it She is withholding the very things her world needs.
This is not offering comfort or nourishing someones soul as God would desire us to do. We need someone who will listen to us fully, not judging us but cheering us on where ever we are. Acceptance is what we need and our souls desire from others. We also talked about how as we grow older we realize that the people who don't accept us and even lash out at us do it from their hurt in their lives and it really has nothing to do with us or what just happened. Very few people seek to purposely hurt us. When we view it this way very often our dismay can turn into compassion for their hurting hearts.
Now we did talk also about their are some people we can not and should not entrust our hearts to and even give our beauty to. I believe God will be faithful and giving us discernment in this if we ask him.
But it's really when we refuse to give it to anyone at all. Page 130 says "A woman who is hiding invites others to do the same. "Don't be vulnerable, Hide yourself." A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same. After all, Eve is the incarnation of the heart of God for intimacy. She says to the world, through her invitation to relationship. "You are wanted here. We want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself." A woman who is controlling cannot invite others to rest, to be known. They will feel controlled in her presence. It won't feel safe there. A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life. She risks being vulnerable; exposing her true heart and inviting other's to share theirs. She is not demanding, but she is hopeful."
Being vulnerable is so important, the group I am in has been just that. One at a time we have let our guard down, showing our true heart and fears. What has happened is we have connected deeply with each other with great love and compassion for each of our sisters. When you bring the raw truth we can feel your pain and disappointment. Our hearts connect and through passionate prayer filled with love and compassion our hearts sing in unison for God healing touch on behalf of each other. We have seen many miracles in our group over these past weeks for just about everyone in the group. I think God is saying this is what it's all about, this is the way we need to be with each other. So if you are hanging on to your hurt and refusing to share it because of your fear.....let it go. If a big group is to much just email Deb or I and we would be happy to get together with you.
Some of you may know I spent the first ten years at our church barely saying a word. Yes, I was hiding.
I had fear of rejection that of coarse I wasn't going to reveal to any one. If a group was too big I would start even feeling like I couldn't breathe. Some how I thought everything I said sounded stupid and if I did happen to say anything, I would analyze it to death, and hold my breathe that no one would rebuff me. But at least I could teach the children. After Deb S. gave me the book on intimidation I knew the enemy had me in a corner for way to long but I didn't know how to break free. One day in desperation to get rid of this bondage I went to Dale in the back of the church for her to pray for me and the Lord gave her discretion and she felt I had a spirit of intimation on me and she prayed against it and it fell off!
I knew I could not do what God was calling me to do if I couldn't get over this. It felt impossible, truly.
I even at times imaged if someone said stand in front of the congregation or be shot and I could not even be clear in mind that I would even do it then! Ladies please don't wait ten years like I did, if God can free me from something in my mind seemed so totally impossible He can and will do it for YOU!
I remember the week before I was set free someone in the congregation was speaking and said some times we just need to take that leap of faith and just jump. JUST JUMP!
Psalm 34:4-10 I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears, They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them. O taste and see that the Lord is good, Blessed is the man who trust in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
We also read I Peter 3:3-4 "Your beauty should no come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. which is of great worth in God's sight." Notice it says gentle and quiet SPIRIT (not voice, many of us thought we may fail on that account alone), but a inner calmness. If we are striving we certainly aren't calm. We can strive to be perfect, as a mother, wife, worker, in our appearance, our homes appearance. God doesn't desire that for us. Maybe our heart should be our barometer , when the tension shoots up it maybe time to accept it as it is.
"A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and that He is good." Can others come to you and be released from tension and pressure?
If not they will hide the truth from you. And from that point you won't know what to pray or how to cheer them on. We need to give GRACE and COMFORT.
Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." Not guard as in protect, hide. No guard here means to guard your heart from all the negative and worthless things that life may offer. Guard your time with God, protect your heart with His love, spend time with Him in intimacy.
God call us to stop hiding, to stop dominating, to trust Him and to offer our true selves to Him.
In our groups we talked about our biggest fears. Number one among all the women was fear of rejection. To talk about the fear was important because if we really fear lack of acceptance we will build walls, and our beauty that God gave us for other will never shine through. We read together from the book on page 138 A woman who is striving invites others to strive. The message sometimes implicit in her actions, sometimes explicit through her words---is, "Get your act together. Life is uncertain. There is not time for your heart here. Shape up. Get Busy. That's what is important." She does not say, "All is well. All shall be well." Her fear doesn't allow it She is withholding the very things her world needs.
This is not offering comfort or nourishing someones soul as God would desire us to do. We need someone who will listen to us fully, not judging us but cheering us on where ever we are. Acceptance is what we need and our souls desire from others. We also talked about how as we grow older we realize that the people who don't accept us and even lash out at us do it from their hurt in their lives and it really has nothing to do with us or what just happened. Very few people seek to purposely hurt us. When we view it this way very often our dismay can turn into compassion for their hurting hearts.
Now we did talk also about their are some people we can not and should not entrust our hearts to and even give our beauty to. I believe God will be faithful and giving us discernment in this if we ask him.
But it's really when we refuse to give it to anyone at all. Page 130 says "A woman who is hiding invites others to do the same. "Don't be vulnerable, Hide yourself." A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same. After all, Eve is the incarnation of the heart of God for intimacy. She says to the world, through her invitation to relationship. "You are wanted here. We want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself." A woman who is controlling cannot invite others to rest, to be known. They will feel controlled in her presence. It won't feel safe there. A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life. She risks being vulnerable; exposing her true heart and inviting other's to share theirs. She is not demanding, but she is hopeful."
Being vulnerable is so important, the group I am in has been just that. One at a time we have let our guard down, showing our true heart and fears. What has happened is we have connected deeply with each other with great love and compassion for each of our sisters. When you bring the raw truth we can feel your pain and disappointment. Our hearts connect and through passionate prayer filled with love and compassion our hearts sing in unison for God healing touch on behalf of each other. We have seen many miracles in our group over these past weeks for just about everyone in the group. I think God is saying this is what it's all about, this is the way we need to be with each other. So if you are hanging on to your hurt and refusing to share it because of your fear.....let it go. If a big group is to much just email Deb or I and we would be happy to get together with you.
Some of you may know I spent the first ten years at our church barely saying a word. Yes, I was hiding.
I had fear of rejection that of coarse I wasn't going to reveal to any one. If a group was too big I would start even feeling like I couldn't breathe. Some how I thought everything I said sounded stupid and if I did happen to say anything, I would analyze it to death, and hold my breathe that no one would rebuff me. But at least I could teach the children. After Deb S. gave me the book on intimidation I knew the enemy had me in a corner for way to long but I didn't know how to break free. One day in desperation to get rid of this bondage I went to Dale in the back of the church for her to pray for me and the Lord gave her discretion and she felt I had a spirit of intimation on me and she prayed against it and it fell off!
I knew I could not do what God was calling me to do if I couldn't get over this. It felt impossible, truly.
I even at times imaged if someone said stand in front of the congregation or be shot and I could not even be clear in mind that I would even do it then! Ladies please don't wait ten years like I did, if God can free me from something in my mind seemed so totally impossible He can and will do it for YOU!
I remember the week before I was set free someone in the congregation was speaking and said some times we just need to take that leap of faith and just jump. JUST JUMP!
Psalm 34:4-10 I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears, They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them. O taste and see that the Lord is good, Blessed is the man who trust in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him. The young lions lack and suffer hunger; but those who who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
We also read I Peter 3:3-4 "Your beauty should no come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. which is of great worth in God's sight." Notice it says gentle and quiet SPIRIT (not voice, many of us thought we may fail on that account alone), but a inner calmness. If we are striving we certainly aren't calm. We can strive to be perfect, as a mother, wife, worker, in our appearance, our homes appearance. God doesn't desire that for us. Maybe our heart should be our barometer , when the tension shoots up it maybe time to accept it as it is.
"A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and that He is good." Can others come to you and be released from tension and pressure?
If not they will hide the truth from you. And from that point you won't know what to pray or how to cheer them on. We need to give GRACE and COMFORT.
Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." Not guard as in protect, hide. No guard here means to guard your heart from all the negative and worthless things that life may offer. Guard your time with God, protect your heart with His love, spend time with Him in intimacy.
God call us to stop hiding, to stop dominating, to trust Him and to offer our true selves to Him.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Lesson 7 Chapter 9 Arousing Adam
We spent the first thirty minutes watching a video of men being interviewed about many different questions women have about the inner workings of a man's heart. It doesn't take long to realize why we have the push and pull between the sexes and how if we just understand where the other is coming from we can have better harmony.
Do men and boys want to be delighted in? Yes, they want to please you and to know they have what it takes to be your hero. What makes them stop trying and become passive? When we don't value what they tried to do on our behalf and only focus on what was lacking about it. Practice makes perfect but some times we don't give them room to grow. We may even be more gifted or skilled in an area and we would just rather do it ourselves.
There core question is do they have what it takes to be a strong man, a hero in their women's lives.
Have you ever thought through how that question may have been answered in the life of the men you love, your sons, brothers, fathers and husbands? Can a woman answer the core question of a man's heart? Only God can answer the man's core questions. A man goes to Eve to offer his strength. He does not go to her to get it.
The same holds true for Eve, She can not look to Adam for the validation of her soul. But many women do, and feel if they have a man they are o.k. The men in the video said women are an emotional abyss and they know they can not fill it. God made it that way so we would come to Him, He alone can fill it.
Only God can tell us who we are.
What can a woman do to encourage and strengthen men? Not expect him to fulfill us. We need to offer our softness, to believe in him and to need his strength. To tell him he has what it takes.
What does it say when we refuse to be vulnerable.....you have nothing to offer me. I don't need your strength. We attack, dominate, make them fill uninvited and unwanted. How often we don't even realize what message we are sending! We can think in our minds we are doing something positive for them in being strong ourselves for them but in reality they long to rise up and be the strong hero. And they can be what God intended if we allow them the room to struggle, make mistakes and grow in this with out pointing out there shortcomings all the time. This takes patience and sometimes we are in such a hurry to just live life we just take right over.
I Peter 3:6 "Life Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters in you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
How does this verse relate to living a life of love? I don't think we have to live life in fear that if we give grace to our men in love that it may not turn out perfect. We just need to do what is right and be that inviting place of beauty, and resting. If we struggle to make life perfect we are not resting. Are we soft, showing we need our men and appreciating what they are able to bring to us.
I don't know about you but God showed me through this study some times I need to work on and change. We can easily fall into the pattern of the world for women that we are strong and we don't need anyone at all. But we don't realized that as we reached out to be loved we are at the same time pushing men out with our lack of vulnerability . It's time to bring the walls down that separate us.
Do men and boys want to be delighted in? Yes, they want to please you and to know they have what it takes to be your hero. What makes them stop trying and become passive? When we don't value what they tried to do on our behalf and only focus on what was lacking about it. Practice makes perfect but some times we don't give them room to grow. We may even be more gifted or skilled in an area and we would just rather do it ourselves.
There core question is do they have what it takes to be a strong man, a hero in their women's lives.
Have you ever thought through how that question may have been answered in the life of the men you love, your sons, brothers, fathers and husbands? Can a woman answer the core question of a man's heart? Only God can answer the man's core questions. A man goes to Eve to offer his strength. He does not go to her to get it.
The same holds true for Eve, She can not look to Adam for the validation of her soul. But many women do, and feel if they have a man they are o.k. The men in the video said women are an emotional abyss and they know they can not fill it. God made it that way so we would come to Him, He alone can fill it.
Only God can tell us who we are.
What can a woman do to encourage and strengthen men? Not expect him to fulfill us. We need to offer our softness, to believe in him and to need his strength. To tell him he has what it takes.
What does it say when we refuse to be vulnerable.....you have nothing to offer me. I don't need your strength. We attack, dominate, make them fill uninvited and unwanted. How often we don't even realize what message we are sending! We can think in our minds we are doing something positive for them in being strong ourselves for them but in reality they long to rise up and be the strong hero. And they can be what God intended if we allow them the room to struggle, make mistakes and grow in this with out pointing out there shortcomings all the time. This takes patience and sometimes we are in such a hurry to just live life we just take right over.
I Peter 3:6 "Life Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters in you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
How does this verse relate to living a life of love? I don't think we have to live life in fear that if we give grace to our men in love that it may not turn out perfect. We just need to do what is right and be that inviting place of beauty, and resting. If we struggle to make life perfect we are not resting. Are we soft, showing we need our men and appreciating what they are able to bring to us.
I don't know about you but God showed me through this study some times I need to work on and change. We can easily fall into the pattern of the world for women that we are strong and we don't need anyone at all. But we don't realized that as we reached out to be loved we are at the same time pushing men out with our lack of vulnerability . It's time to bring the walls down that separate us.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Lesson 6 Chapter 7 Romanced
Remember when Jesus calls Himself our Bridegroom? This is the most intimate of all metaphors Jesus chose to describe His love and longing for us and the relationship He invites us into. What can be more joyful than getting to know one another, celebrating each moment together. Someone who is deeply committed to us, that we feel in their acceptance of us, that therefore we can share the deepest part of ourselves. The story of your life is also the story of the long and passionate pursuit of your heat by the One who knows you best and loves you most.
God's romance towards you is immensely personal. It will be as if it has been scripted for your heart alone It is hear we can ask God, "Do you love me? May I have a whale, or a starfish or a butterfly?" Is this question hard for you to even ask God. There is no feeling better in the whole world than to have prayer answered in such a way you know it was God alone, He heard you, and answered you back.
God delights in revealing Himself to those who seek Him with all their hearts and He loves to reveal His heart to us again and again.
Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
And it really is true....the God of the universe wants us to spend all eternity with Him...that's how important we are to Him! Not to mention He allowed His only son to be sacrifice for sins to do this!
Now that is amazing love!
God has made women for romance...her heart comes alive and she becomes radiant. When she is not being pursued she is like a flower without water. God wants to heal us through His love. His heart towards us is not one of disappointment or disapproval but of one who sees your potential and what you need to help you flourish into that person you were created to be.
It can be such a revelation that God wants our love. We have to fight the busyness of life to spend time with God. We can't love someone we don't know. Sure we can always find sometime to pray but when do we listen to His voice. He speaks to us through His Word. Ask Him for help to create the time you need and ask Him to reveal His self to you.
God's romance towards you is immensely personal. It will be as if it has been scripted for your heart alone It is hear we can ask God, "Do you love me? May I have a whale, or a starfish or a butterfly?" Is this question hard for you to even ask God. There is no feeling better in the whole world than to have prayer answered in such a way you know it was God alone, He heard you, and answered you back.
God delights in revealing Himself to those who seek Him with all their hearts and He loves to reveal His heart to us again and again.
Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
And it really is true....the God of the universe wants us to spend all eternity with Him...that's how important we are to Him! Not to mention He allowed His only son to be sacrifice for sins to do this!
Now that is amazing love!
God has made women for romance...her heart comes alive and she becomes radiant. When she is not being pursued she is like a flower without water. God wants to heal us through His love. His heart towards us is not one of disappointment or disapproval but of one who sees your potential and what you need to help you flourish into that person you were created to be.
It can be such a revelation that God wants our love. We have to fight the busyness of life to spend time with God. We can't love someone we don't know. Sure we can always find sometime to pray but when do we listen to His voice. He speaks to us through His Word. Ask Him for help to create the time you need and ask Him to reveal His self to you.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Lesson 5 Chapter 5 A Special Hatred & Chapter 11 Warrior Princesses
These chapters I thought were some of the best in the book so don't skip them. We had an awesome time Monday during our studies. Deb S. made up some extra handouts for us on Qualities of a Spiritual Warrior by Graham Cooke, Mother Teresa...NO Greater Love and a copy of Proverbs 31. You can pick them up at the information desk if you want a copy.
Deb S. in her introduction talked about a profile on women in China. It is a bleak out look if you are born a girl there because of the one child law they mostly all just want a son. Baby girls are abandoned in great rates and the care is so poor that not many survive. But women are being treated poorly in many countries as well, assaulted and seen as disposable. Where does this hatred for women, seen all over the world come from? Why is it so evil?
For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those might powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12
Satan has a special hatred for women because a one time he was the object of great beauty, Son of the Morning. It infers a glory, a brightness or radiance unique to him. Satan fell because of his beauty. Pride in wanting adoration for himself. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty. Beauty in everything God created but especially women, they are God's final touch on creation and they are the life givers.
Satan was a murderer from the beginning, John 8:44 says" You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him." He brings death and his kingdom of death, ritual sacrifices, genocide, the Holocaust, abortion those are his ideas. That is why Eve is his greatest human threat, for she brings life. She is a lifesaver and a life giver. When you see her beauty and life giving together you can see that Satan's bitter heart assaults her with a special hatred. Don't you see this reflected all through out history?
Does it now make sense that he has a systemic, often brutal, nearly universal assault on femininity? Satan causes the hatred for women because if God's beauty is truly revealed in women's beauty, he feels he must debase it and cause it to be an object of shame. Satan wishes to destroy the object of God's affection, the pinnacle of His creation because destroying it will make it harder for all people to see and experience His beauty.
This revelation is so important for us to understand. In order to live the life that Jesus wants us to live, we must be aware that we have an enemy who is busy trying to steal, kill and destroy our lives. We must believe this or we end up blaming God for things the devil is doing and our view of the good, faithful, loving heart of God is badly skewed.
We must put on the armor of God every day and stand firm in the truth. We must resist the devil and command him and his minions to depart-out loud--in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ.
I John 1 4:4 You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him, we cry Abba, Father.
Ephesians 6:10-13 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on your full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Now I hope you really got the first part in dark print--the out loud part. I know if you have never done it before your thinking can't I just ask God to take care of it? Yes, you could but it's like asking why Christians should share the gospel with another person rather than praying and asking God to reveal the gospel to that person directly. Or why should be speak words of encouragement to someone who is discouraged rather than just praying and asking God to encourage that person? The answer just might be that God direct involvement makes us stronger. We don't always want to settle all our children's disputes , we send them back out to learn how to settle things on their own. We want them to grow stronger in these skills. We gain the eternal significance of this ministry when we pray out loud, the joy of seeing someone set free. And sometimes we have to set ourselves free when we need to.
Pastor Tom gave a sermon on praying to cast out evil spirits and gave his own story how the first time someone did that over Him he was like ok but thinking I don't know about this. Well, he was healed of an injury and encouraged us it doesn't hurt to try. Not everything that goes wrong in our lives has an evil spirit at work but you won't know until you try.
Right after church I remember I was so anxious to get in my car and try it. I spoke aloud saying if there is any spirit coming against my hearing I command you to leave in Jesus name and by His blood and power. It doesn't have to be that exactly to get results. Well since there was no noise in the car I didn't know until I went to work with the kids and lo and behold I could hear them! What use to be a constant thought for me about what did they just say....has vanished! Now I want to say the loss of hearing seemed natural in that I had a lot of ear infections when I was younger and this had been getting worse over the years. I just thought that just the way it is. NO! Don't ever accept that.
Satan wants to destroy what we have and drown us in doubt, guilt, fear, confusion, sickness, envy, and anger. He is an accuser and an adversary. He wants to keep us in bondage and is very deceptive in getting us to believe lies about our selves. Not every thought that comes into your mind is your own. He is an accuser...your not...fill in the blank or you'll never.........tell yourself the truth and think on that not the lie. Command him to leave! Just in case you don't know, no where in the Bible does it state that Satan can read our minds, only God can do that. Demons and Satan are limited by God's control and have limited power. They can only do what God permits and no more. The good news is these things can be resisted by Christians through the authority that Christ gives them! But just one note, not all sin and evil are from Satan and demons. Our fleshly desires produce sin, so in that we don't need to cast it our we just need to repent of it.
On Monday the group I was in stayed until 10:00 praying over each other and taking back what was ours. I was on a spiritual high after that, it was that awesome. I can't wait to see all the wonderful things God is going to be doing for each one of you!
Deb S. in her introduction talked about a profile on women in China. It is a bleak out look if you are born a girl there because of the one child law they mostly all just want a son. Baby girls are abandoned in great rates and the care is so poor that not many survive. But women are being treated poorly in many countries as well, assaulted and seen as disposable. Where does this hatred for women, seen all over the world come from? Why is it so evil?
For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those might powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12
Satan has a special hatred for women because a one time he was the object of great beauty, Son of the Morning. It infers a glory, a brightness or radiance unique to him. Satan fell because of his beauty. Pride in wanting adoration for himself. Now his heart for revenge is to assault beauty. Beauty in everything God created but especially women, they are God's final touch on creation and they are the life givers.
Satan was a murderer from the beginning, John 8:44 says" You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him." He brings death and his kingdom of death, ritual sacrifices, genocide, the Holocaust, abortion those are his ideas. That is why Eve is his greatest human threat, for she brings life. She is a lifesaver and a life giver. When you see her beauty and life giving together you can see that Satan's bitter heart assaults her with a special hatred. Don't you see this reflected all through out history?
Does it now make sense that he has a systemic, often brutal, nearly universal assault on femininity? Satan causes the hatred for women because if God's beauty is truly revealed in women's beauty, he feels he must debase it and cause it to be an object of shame. Satan wishes to destroy the object of God's affection, the pinnacle of His creation because destroying it will make it harder for all people to see and experience His beauty.
This revelation is so important for us to understand. In order to live the life that Jesus wants us to live, we must be aware that we have an enemy who is busy trying to steal, kill and destroy our lives. We must believe this or we end up blaming God for things the devil is doing and our view of the good, faithful, loving heart of God is badly skewed.
We must put on the armor of God every day and stand firm in the truth. We must resist the devil and command him and his minions to depart-out loud--in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ.
I John 1 4:4 You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him, we cry Abba, Father.
Ephesians 6:10-13 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on your full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Now I hope you really got the first part in dark print--the out loud part. I know if you have never done it before your thinking can't I just ask God to take care of it? Yes, you could but it's like asking why Christians should share the gospel with another person rather than praying and asking God to reveal the gospel to that person directly. Or why should be speak words of encouragement to someone who is discouraged rather than just praying and asking God to encourage that person? The answer just might be that God direct involvement makes us stronger. We don't always want to settle all our children's disputes , we send them back out to learn how to settle things on their own. We want them to grow stronger in these skills. We gain the eternal significance of this ministry when we pray out loud, the joy of seeing someone set free. And sometimes we have to set ourselves free when we need to.
Pastor Tom gave a sermon on praying to cast out evil spirits and gave his own story how the first time someone did that over Him he was like ok but thinking I don't know about this. Well, he was healed of an injury and encouraged us it doesn't hurt to try. Not everything that goes wrong in our lives has an evil spirit at work but you won't know until you try.
Right after church I remember I was so anxious to get in my car and try it. I spoke aloud saying if there is any spirit coming against my hearing I command you to leave in Jesus name and by His blood and power. It doesn't have to be that exactly to get results. Well since there was no noise in the car I didn't know until I went to work with the kids and lo and behold I could hear them! What use to be a constant thought for me about what did they just say....has vanished! Now I want to say the loss of hearing seemed natural in that I had a lot of ear infections when I was younger and this had been getting worse over the years. I just thought that just the way it is. NO! Don't ever accept that.
Satan wants to destroy what we have and drown us in doubt, guilt, fear, confusion, sickness, envy, and anger. He is an accuser and an adversary. He wants to keep us in bondage and is very deceptive in getting us to believe lies about our selves. Not every thought that comes into your mind is your own. He is an accuser...your not...fill in the blank or you'll never.........tell yourself the truth and think on that not the lie. Command him to leave! Just in case you don't know, no where in the Bible does it state that Satan can read our minds, only God can do that. Demons and Satan are limited by God's control and have limited power. They can only do what God permits and no more. The good news is these things can be resisted by Christians through the authority that Christ gives them! But just one note, not all sin and evil are from Satan and demons. Our fleshly desires produce sin, so in that we don't need to cast it our we just need to repent of it.
On Monday the group I was in stayed until 10:00 praying over each other and taking back what was ours. I was on a spiritual high after that, it was that awesome. I can't wait to see all the wonderful things God is going to be doing for each one of you!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Lesson 4-Chapter 6 Healing the Wound
If you missed last night you missed the heart of the book. We had an awesome time laughing, crying and talking together. In this chapter on page 94 "The Offer", John states that they had gone to good churches all their lives that taught them the place of worship and sacrifice, faith and suffering and a love for the Word of God. But in all those years he felt the central ministry of Jesus was never explained. Yes, they were taught that Christ came to ransom us from sin and death and one day take us to heaven with him. But there was more....and I love the analogy he uses which I will quote here for you.
"The purposes of Jesus Christ are not finished when one of his precious ones is forgiven. Not at all. Would a good father feel satisfied when his daughter is rescued from a car accident, but left in ICU? Doesn't he want her to be healed as well? So God has much more in mind for us." Listen to this passage from Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
"This is the passage that Jesus pointed to when he began his ministry here on earth. Of all the Scriptures he could have chosen, this is the one he picked on the day he first publicly announced his mission. It must be important to him. It must be central.
Let me state it in words more familiar to us.
God has sent me on a mission. I have some great news for you,
God has sent me to restore and release something.
And that something is you.
I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.
I am furious at the Enemy did this to you, and I will fight
against him.
Let me comfort you.
For, dear one. I will bestow beauty upon you
where you have known only devastation,
Joy, in the place of your deep sorrow.
And I will robe your heart in thankful praise
in exchange for your resignation and despair.
Now an offer is worth considering. What if it were true? I mean, what if Jesus really could and would do this for your broken heart, your wounded feminine soul? Read it again, and ask him, Jesus---is this true for me? Would you do this for me?
He can and he will----if you let him."
Wow...like the first time it clicked in my mind there is hope in healing our hearts while we are still on earth....we don't have to wait until heaven! This is one of the main reason Jesus came to earth!
Down below is most of Deb S. leader notes that she makes up for us almost every week and I thought I would reprint them for those of you who aren't able to come and also sometimes we run short on time and can't get through them all. Thank you Miss Deb for all your hard work you do on our behalf with the weekly introductions and the thought filled notes!
This is one of the core purpose of this book--to let us know that the healing of our feminine heart is available, and to help us find that healing. To help us find the restoration which we long for and which is central to Jesus' mission. Let Him take you by the hand now and walk with you through your restoration and release.
Why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache? He did it to SAVE her.
Hosea 2:6 Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
Jesus knows He has to thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, to thwart the ways we seek to fill the ache within us. Otherwise, we would never fully turn to Him for our rescue.
I know this may seem counter-intuitive, even mean spirited. I can see many of us wondering...why would God do this? Why would He set us up this way? The answer is because He knows deep in our hearts that we would never really come to Him if we did not need Him to rescue us. We might turn to Him for our salvation, and we might perform Christian service, regular church attendance. etc. But INSIDE, our hearts would remain broken and captive and far from the One who can help us. And so God allows, no actually He plans...to hem us in. He will make a great job miserable if it is a career we find shelter in. He will allow hardship in our marriage...if we are seeking total fulfillment through it. Whatever we have sought after, apart from him, He will allow to fall apart...all for the purpose of drawing us to Him..why...because He knows the joy, the fulfillment, the peace, the purpose, the love we will experience in Him and Him alone. Nothing else can or will satisfy.
Will you let Him come for you? Give Him permission, give Him access to your broken heart. Ask Him to come to those shattered, abused, wounded places.
So we need to recognize the messages that have been spoken and that we have received about us. You are worthless, you are a disappointment, there is something wrong with you.
It is so important that you are able to identify the message that came with your wounds. What did the wound made you believe about yourself?
And as we have said, the vows we made as children act like a deep seated agreement with the messages of our wounds. We vow to never again allow ourselves to be hurt, to be exposed, to be vulnerable...and these childhood vows are very dangerous things.
Once we have recognize the wounds, the vows the agreements we have made with these hurts, we need to renounce the agreements we have made. We need to give ourselves permission to grieve and to feel the hurts that many of us have been hiding all our lives.
Can we all say this together......
Jesus, forgive me for embracing these lies. This is not what You have said of me. You said I am Your daughter. I am Your precious child. I am Your beloved. I renounce the vows and agreements I have made with these lies. I reject them as untrue...and instead begin to embrace the words of love that You wish to pour out upon me Thank your Jesus. Help me Jesus....
And, as the book says, we must allow the tears, the anger, the remorse, the guilt, the shame, all of the feeling that have accompanied these lies all of these years.
The next step is to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling. By forgiving we are not saying that these things did not matter or we will ever forget them. Just the opposite is true-we are finally recognizing that they did matter. That they hurt us deeply. But forgiveness actually heals our souls. We choose to release people from the hurts they committed against us. And when we do, the hurts no longer hold US captive!
It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young and they also feel captive to the enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands. This does not absolve them of the choices they made, or the hurts they inflicted. It just helps us to let them go...to know that the true enemy is the enemy of our souls...
Ask Jesus to heal.
Ask Him to destroy your enemies.
And these are not our physical enemies. These are the enemies of our soul--Satan, anger, fear, rejection, self-doubt, shame, addiction...
And now the most important part...let Him Father you!
And so let's pray together...
Father I need Your love. Come to the core of my heart. Come and bring your love for me. Help me to know you for who you really are---not as I see my earthly father. Reveal yourself to me. Reveal your love for me. Tell me what I mean to you. Come and father me.
If you are like me, you will need to continue asking God that question...and continue to allow Him to show you the answers to those questions...and I know He will...in deep and meaningful ways to each of you...in places you need it and need Him most!
"The purposes of Jesus Christ are not finished when one of his precious ones is forgiven. Not at all. Would a good father feel satisfied when his daughter is rescued from a car accident, but left in ICU? Doesn't he want her to be healed as well? So God has much more in mind for us." Listen to this passage from Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
"This is the passage that Jesus pointed to when he began his ministry here on earth. Of all the Scriptures he could have chosen, this is the one he picked on the day he first publicly announced his mission. It must be important to him. It must be central.
Let me state it in words more familiar to us.
God has sent me on a mission. I have some great news for you,
God has sent me to restore and release something.
And that something is you.
I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.
I am furious at the Enemy did this to you, and I will fight
against him.
Let me comfort you.
For, dear one. I will bestow beauty upon you
where you have known only devastation,
Joy, in the place of your deep sorrow.
And I will robe your heart in thankful praise
in exchange for your resignation and despair.
Now an offer is worth considering. What if it were true? I mean, what if Jesus really could and would do this for your broken heart, your wounded feminine soul? Read it again, and ask him, Jesus---is this true for me? Would you do this for me?
He can and he will----if you let him."
Wow...like the first time it clicked in my mind there is hope in healing our hearts while we are still on earth....we don't have to wait until heaven! This is one of the main reason Jesus came to earth!
Down below is most of Deb S. leader notes that she makes up for us almost every week and I thought I would reprint them for those of you who aren't able to come and also sometimes we run short on time and can't get through them all. Thank you Miss Deb for all your hard work you do on our behalf with the weekly introductions and the thought filled notes!
This is one of the core purpose of this book--to let us know that the healing of our feminine heart is available, and to help us find that healing. To help us find the restoration which we long for and which is central to Jesus' mission. Let Him take you by the hand now and walk with you through your restoration and release.
Why did God curse Eve with loneliness and heartache? He did it to SAVE her.
Hosea 2:6 Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes;
I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way.
Jesus knows He has to thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling and our hiding, to thwart the ways we seek to fill the ache within us. Otherwise, we would never fully turn to Him for our rescue.
I know this may seem counter-intuitive, even mean spirited. I can see many of us wondering...why would God do this? Why would He set us up this way? The answer is because He knows deep in our hearts that we would never really come to Him if we did not need Him to rescue us. We might turn to Him for our salvation, and we might perform Christian service, regular church attendance. etc. But INSIDE, our hearts would remain broken and captive and far from the One who can help us. And so God allows, no actually He plans...to hem us in. He will make a great job miserable if it is a career we find shelter in. He will allow hardship in our marriage...if we are seeking total fulfillment through it. Whatever we have sought after, apart from him, He will allow to fall apart...all for the purpose of drawing us to Him..why...because He knows the joy, the fulfillment, the peace, the purpose, the love we will experience in Him and Him alone. Nothing else can or will satisfy.
Will you let Him come for you? Give Him permission, give Him access to your broken heart. Ask Him to come to those shattered, abused, wounded places.
So we need to recognize the messages that have been spoken and that we have received about us. You are worthless, you are a disappointment, there is something wrong with you.
It is so important that you are able to identify the message that came with your wounds. What did the wound made you believe about yourself?
And as we have said, the vows we made as children act like a deep seated agreement with the messages of our wounds. We vow to never again allow ourselves to be hurt, to be exposed, to be vulnerable...and these childhood vows are very dangerous things.
Once we have recognize the wounds, the vows the agreements we have made with these hurts, we need to renounce the agreements we have made. We need to give ourselves permission to grieve and to feel the hurts that many of us have been hiding all our lives.
Can we all say this together......
Jesus, forgive me for embracing these lies. This is not what You have said of me. You said I am Your daughter. I am Your precious child. I am Your beloved. I renounce the vows and agreements I have made with these lies. I reject them as untrue...and instead begin to embrace the words of love that You wish to pour out upon me Thank your Jesus. Help me Jesus....
And, as the book says, we must allow the tears, the anger, the remorse, the guilt, the shame, all of the feeling that have accompanied these lies all of these years.
The next step is to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling. By forgiving we are not saying that these things did not matter or we will ever forget them. Just the opposite is true-we are finally recognizing that they did matter. That they hurt us deeply. But forgiveness actually heals our souls. We choose to release people from the hurts they committed against us. And when we do, the hurts no longer hold US captive!
It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young and they also feel captive to the enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands. This does not absolve them of the choices they made, or the hurts they inflicted. It just helps us to let them go...to know that the true enemy is the enemy of our souls...
Ask Jesus to heal.
Ask Him to destroy your enemies.
And these are not our physical enemies. These are the enemies of our soul--Satan, anger, fear, rejection, self-doubt, shame, addiction...
And now the most important part...let Him Father you!
And so let's pray together...
Father I need Your love. Come to the core of my heart. Come and bring your love for me. Help me to know you for who you really are---not as I see my earthly father. Reveal yourself to me. Reveal your love for me. Tell me what I mean to you. Come and father me.
If you are like me, you will need to continue asking God that question...and continue to allow Him to show you the answers to those questions...and I know He will...in deep and meaningful ways to each of you...in places you need it and need Him most!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Sept. 27, 2010 Lesson 3 Chapter 4 Wounded
Deb S. started the group off with an introduction to our lesson on being wounded, sharing her own personal story of her life. Very few of us come into this life with the perfect environment to grow up in.
And many of us become wounded in the process of living life, which we either deal with it or repress it.
It is amazing what the human mind can block to protect itself when the hurt is deep enough. But there is hope in healing all our wounds, when we allow God to work in our lives.
This chapter begins with the story of Carrie who was truly delight in as a little girl. She knew her father cherished her....and she knew her mother loved her. She was enjoyed...and she was cherished.
However, for most of us..that is not the story of our lives. For most of us, our brokenness began in our childhood because our mothers and fathers and others around us were not who we needed them to be.
Women learn from their mothers what it means to be a woman and from their fathers the value that a woman has--the value they have as a woman. And sadly..the messages we received where not healthy or supportive of our deepest needs.
Little girls need the tender strength of their fathers. They need to know that their daddies are strong and will protect them. They need to know that their fathers are for them.
But many of us had abusive or absent fathers. Fathers who had affairs...fathers who did not love their mothers...
So many girls, therefore, learned something like this...hide your vulnerability...hide your heart. You are not safe.
And as children, since we are too young to understand or correctly process what is happening to us, we believed that these things were our fault...the problem must be in us.
We don't revisit the wounds of our lives to feel sorry for ourselves, but for the purposes of God to heal us. He invites us to grieve our wounds and to receive His comfort and then His healing. But to be healed, we must once again let God tenderly open our wounds and expose them to the light of His love and His truth.
What was interesting to me was that Deb S. had shared how her wounds changed how she parented. We talked more about this when we broke down into our groups. We can be overprotective in the areas we were hurt in, and by controlling things so much we may hurt our children in the long run. We may make them feel incapable of making their own decisions and hurt by the lack of trust they may feel from us. We may feel shame from our past that changes our responses to our families in a negative way, simply because, one it is a secret, and two we haven't dealt with it.
For instance, if the father of the family is having an affair and the mother knows, she may be in so much pain and depression, it comes out on the children. The children don't have a clue what is going on and take on a wound from the withdrawn and the lashing out that can come from it.
I feel at least for myself, it was a generational wounding that was past down through the parenting. My great grandmother came from a large family and she was the youngest. A twin actually, her mother died during childbirth. Her father remarried shortly after and she was given away and raised by another family. That doesn't make you feel wanted when the new bride doesn't want the children that are there. She grew up fast marrying at only 14 years old with a wounded heart of no love from her parents.
She had three children, one being my grandfather. She decided at one point she didn't want to be married and took the two youngest with her out of state. As my aunt tells it, she would threat them by saying she would sell them and they grew up in fear that she could get rid of them at any time. I'm sure they did not feel valued or secure in the love of any parent. My grandfather turned into an alcoholic to I'm sure cope with his wounds.
My mom was going to change things for herself by being in control of her world when she married at 16. She was emotionally unavailable to me growing up, and my father absent a lot of the time. My mother often shutting down emotionally because of issues between her and my father that I had no clue about. I felt my worth was not in being, it was only in being useful. My mom was not one to want to take me shopping or be involved in the important events in my life. She never attended my bridal or baby showers. My mother in law took notice of all this and one day said your mother doesn't love you. Talk about cut to the core, that was my deepest fear, my biggest wound. I cried for days because I felt it must be true. It did not stop me from pursuing my mom in a big way trying to please her every way I could to get her love and attention.
Healing our wounds is not just important for us, but everyone our lives touch as well. The wound has tentacles that will wrap itself around other areas of our lives. But there is hope in healing for us all.
God gave me this verse yesterday and it's one we all need to hear, that God can make something new for us.
Isaiah 43:18 & 19
Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
We all need to ask God to reveal to us the ways that believing these things has shaped our lives. Are you ready and willing to consider the secret, awful things you have come to deeply believe about yourself are not true and that you did not deserve the wounds you received: What if they are lies? What would that mean about you and your life? What if the message delivered with your wounds simply isn't true about you?
The questions, "Does God see me? An I captivating? Do I have a beauty all my own?" are questions we must ask of God. We must ask Him what He sees. We need to take this to Him.
And many of us become wounded in the process of living life, which we either deal with it or repress it.
It is amazing what the human mind can block to protect itself when the hurt is deep enough. But there is hope in healing all our wounds, when we allow God to work in our lives.
This chapter begins with the story of Carrie who was truly delight in as a little girl. She knew her father cherished her....and she knew her mother loved her. She was enjoyed...and she was cherished.
However, for most of us..that is not the story of our lives. For most of us, our brokenness began in our childhood because our mothers and fathers and others around us were not who we needed them to be.
Women learn from their mothers what it means to be a woman and from their fathers the value that a woman has--the value they have as a woman. And sadly..the messages we received where not healthy or supportive of our deepest needs.
Little girls need the tender strength of their fathers. They need to know that their daddies are strong and will protect them. They need to know that their fathers are for them.
But many of us had abusive or absent fathers. Fathers who had affairs...fathers who did not love their mothers...
So many girls, therefore, learned something like this...hide your vulnerability...hide your heart. You are not safe.
And as children, since we are too young to understand or correctly process what is happening to us, we believed that these things were our fault...the problem must be in us.
We don't revisit the wounds of our lives to feel sorry for ourselves, but for the purposes of God to heal us. He invites us to grieve our wounds and to receive His comfort and then His healing. But to be healed, we must once again let God tenderly open our wounds and expose them to the light of His love and His truth.
What was interesting to me was that Deb S. had shared how her wounds changed how she parented. We talked more about this when we broke down into our groups. We can be overprotective in the areas we were hurt in, and by controlling things so much we may hurt our children in the long run. We may make them feel incapable of making their own decisions and hurt by the lack of trust they may feel from us. We may feel shame from our past that changes our responses to our families in a negative way, simply because, one it is a secret, and two we haven't dealt with it.
For instance, if the father of the family is having an affair and the mother knows, she may be in so much pain and depression, it comes out on the children. The children don't have a clue what is going on and take on a wound from the withdrawn and the lashing out that can come from it.
I feel at least for myself, it was a generational wounding that was past down through the parenting. My great grandmother came from a large family and she was the youngest. A twin actually, her mother died during childbirth. Her father remarried shortly after and she was given away and raised by another family. That doesn't make you feel wanted when the new bride doesn't want the children that are there. She grew up fast marrying at only 14 years old with a wounded heart of no love from her parents.
She had three children, one being my grandfather. She decided at one point she didn't want to be married and took the two youngest with her out of state. As my aunt tells it, she would threat them by saying she would sell them and they grew up in fear that she could get rid of them at any time. I'm sure they did not feel valued or secure in the love of any parent. My grandfather turned into an alcoholic to I'm sure cope with his wounds.
My mom was going to change things for herself by being in control of her world when she married at 16. She was emotionally unavailable to me growing up, and my father absent a lot of the time. My mother often shutting down emotionally because of issues between her and my father that I had no clue about. I felt my worth was not in being, it was only in being useful. My mom was not one to want to take me shopping or be involved in the important events in my life. She never attended my bridal or baby showers. My mother in law took notice of all this and one day said your mother doesn't love you. Talk about cut to the core, that was my deepest fear, my biggest wound. I cried for days because I felt it must be true. It did not stop me from pursuing my mom in a big way trying to please her every way I could to get her love and attention.
Healing our wounds is not just important for us, but everyone our lives touch as well. The wound has tentacles that will wrap itself around other areas of our lives. But there is hope in healing for us all.
God gave me this verse yesterday and it's one we all need to hear, that God can make something new for us.
Isaiah 43:18 & 19
Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
We all need to ask God to reveal to us the ways that believing these things has shaped our lives. Are you ready and willing to consider the secret, awful things you have come to deeply believe about yourself are not true and that you did not deserve the wounds you received: What if they are lies? What would that mean about you and your life? What if the message delivered with your wounds simply isn't true about you?
The questions, "Does God see me? An I captivating? Do I have a beauty all my own?" are questions we must ask of God. We must ask Him what He sees. We need to take this to Him.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
How to Post Comments
Look to your right and you will see blog archives, click on the one you want to comment on and at the bottom of the article it will have a place for you to write. Hope that helps if you've never done this before.
Also more books are in if you had signed up for one see me by Oct. 3rd or your book will go to the next person waiting.
Also more books are in if you had signed up for one see me by Oct. 3rd or your book will go to the next person waiting.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Lesson 2 Chapter 2 What Eve Alone Can Tell & 3 Haunted by a Question
This was the first night in the big room off the fellowship hall where we will be meeting from now on. Deb S. lead an introduction to the chapters and then we broke down in to smaller groups to discuss the study questions. Deb talked to the group how Eve is the crescendo..the final, astonishing work of God. That she fills a place in the world like no one can. And even after all that God made including Man, God said it is not good for man to be alone. When God creates Eve, He calls her an ezer kenegdo. The word ezer is used only 20 times in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance, the person being described is God Himself...when we need Him to come through for us...desperateley! So let's think for a moment of women and men in the bible who we see were completely dependent on God to be their ezer. There is Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Deborah, Esther. Think about this then...God does not call us to a safe life....God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to be our ezer? And so we now know that this is how God sees us...as lifesavers, life givers, risk takers, unafraid of dangers...totally dependent upon Him!
What does your heart do with being called the crown of creation?
Deb told us that there was a time in her life when she didn't feel the beauty and the specialness that God has made each one of us with. She had a left over crown stuffed in her desk drawer at work from a function and when she would open it she was reminded that she did not feel worthy to wear one. A crown to her was a reminder that woman is the crowning glory of creation. She struggled through what that meant, and there did come a time after really reading this book that she could finally see herself as God made her and she could wear her crown. Deb past around the crown and also passed out a bowl of Lifesavers for each of us to take and stash different places to remind us of the fact that God has made us women all lifesavers! These Lifesavers will be on the information desk for you to take, as many as you like.
Deb also wrote this: The last few years I have watched a television program..called True Beauty. It is a show that has "beautiful" contestant...each vying for the title, the most beautiful person in America. What the contestants don't know...is that they are secretly being watch ..and that the judges have put traps in place...circumstances where the contestants can be judged...not on their outward beauty..but on their inward beauty. How will they react to a homeless person or the opportunity to get ahead in the contest by cheating or stealing. Yes, all the people are gorgeous and handsome people on the outside...but one by one each is disqualified when their true nature or their lack of inner beauty is revealed. The best part of the show is when the judges show the contestants the videotapes of their sins or indiscretions. It is always amazing how 99% of the time the contestants say..that is not really who I am...yet there it is in black and white for them and the whole world to see. I love this show because I think this is exactly what it will be like in Heaven...God sees the inner man (or woman) as the case may be. We will have no place to hide...and so to me, our beauty is really revealed on the inside..
A woman, at rest, is a woman of beauty. Women who are striving can be so disturbing. What she is saying is...all is not well in the world.
And so we read that beauty invites, beauty nourishes, beauty comforts, beauty inspires..Beauty draws us to God. So we now understand that the essence of Gd is beauty..and that we too have this essence of God's nature and character in us. It is part of what we are made for...to reveal His beauty in the earth.
The next two question are :
What are some aspects of the power of beauty and how have you experienced the healing, restorative power of beauty through another person?
I (Deb D.) don't know if this happened to anyone else but I noticed the words that I had in both questions had the same meaning just different words. We all have read above and in the book that beauty invites (doesn't hurry), nourishes (positive), and comforts (non judgemental). The words in the brackets are what when an other woman gives these to me, she helps to heal my hurts. If a woman hurries to hear me, it doesn't feel inviting, if she is critical, it doesn't nourish my soul, and if I feel judgement it doesn't comfort me. Everyone of us live in this fast paced world of ours, and we all face the one big question of how can we be inviting? I would love to hear some feed back on this because I don't have all the answers.
On the other side of this it is such an uplifting thing to think that, yes, God always has time for us and that He really wants us to come to Him with our hurts, and it is His very nature to want to nourish and comfort us. This book has helped me see God is not like my earthly Father. I had too long put Him in that mold. He was to me like my earthly father, distant, not knowing much about me, and was happy with me as long as I didn't get in trouble (sin). But if I did look out, there was judgement, fear and anger.
There were a lot of times in my life I just gave up on myself because I could not believe that God would want anything to do with me and my struggles.
God had given me a verse to share with you all in I Samuel 12:19-24. First let me say that prior in these verses in Samuel chapter 8 they demanded a king to judge them like all the nations. They were the only nation with the one true God as their King and they wanted to be like all the other nations? When Samuel prays to God asking what to do God responds "Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them."
"However, you shall solemnly forewarn them and show them the behavior of the king who will reign over them." Which Samuel in length did, and it ended with verse 18 And you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day.
19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey. They replied "No, but we will have a king over us, that we may be like all the nations." And God said to Samuel heed their voice and make them a king. So they know their choice is not going to end well.
I Samuel 12:19-24 And all the people said to Samuel, "Pray for your servants to the Lord your God, that we may not die, for we have added to all our sins the evil of asking a king for ourselves." Then Samuel said to the people, "Do not fear, You have done all this wickedness; yet do not turn aside from following the Lord; but serve the Lord with all your heart. And do not turn aside; for then you would go after empty things which cannot profit or deliver, for they are nothing. For the Lord will not forsake His people, for His great name's sake because it has pleased the Lord to make you His people. Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you; but I will teach you the good and the right way. Only fear the Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you."
I think these verses can speak to us women with relational voids in our lives. God made us relational to fill ourselves with Him. But sometimes we want to pursue those things that the world tells us we need to be happy, or we simply don't like to have to wait on God timing for the things we want so we are willing to take less then we should. We think like Eve, God is holding out on us....but really I think sometimes we deep down often know it will not end well when we demand and take our way. And when we are hurting again after we take our own road God is calling us back because it pleases Him to make us His.
If we just would not turn aside, for then you would go after empty things which cannot profit or deliver, for they are nothing. There God tells us when we fill our relational needs outside of Him being first in our lives it will not end well. He will never forsake us no matter what we have done or how long we have strayed away from Him. Just like with Israel, he is ready to restore us.
All the groups ended with the same verse Hebrews 4:14-16 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Did you see that, He sympathizes with our weaknesses, He wants to give us mercy and grace when we are hurting. He is inviting, He wants to be our comfort, to nourish and inspire us. How could we ever doubt His goodness towards us?
From the fall in the garden we are from this point on cursed...with futility and failure. When a man goes bad, as every man has after the fall, he either becomes a weak, passive man-strength surrendered- or he becomes a violent, driven man-strength unglued. When a woman falls from grace, she either becomes a dominating, controlling woman or a desolate, mousy woman.
Fallen Eve controls her relationships. She refuses to be vulnerable. And if she cannot secure her relationships, then she kills her heart's longing for intimacy so she will be safe and in control.
Women dominate and control because they fear their vulnerability. Controlling women tend to be very well regarded in this fallen world of ours. We are the ones to receive corporate promotions. We are can-do, bottom-line, get it done women. We may have never considered that by living a controlling and domineering life, that we are really refusing to trust God.
Which way do we fall and the important women in our lives?
Underneath our sin is a deep fear. Of what are you most afraid?
And in our fears we look to other things to satisfy us. We indulge in food, in romance novels, shopping, soap operas, etc. The list is virtually endless. We somehow know we are substituting these things for the intimacy we lack, but it is much easier to cover up our need than to admit it and to allow our fallenness and our deep ache to draw us closer to God.
And that is the beauty of this book. For the first time in my life, it has revealed deep truths that are allowing us-giving us permission to recognize our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities, our sins and the sins against us--that brought us to where we are...and so we can, perhaps for the first time in our lives, go to God with the question that we have wanted answered our whole lives...Am I lovely? Do you see me? Are you (God) captivated by what You find in me?
What does your heart do with being called the crown of creation?
Deb told us that there was a time in her life when she didn't feel the beauty and the specialness that God has made each one of us with. She had a left over crown stuffed in her desk drawer at work from a function and when she would open it she was reminded that she did not feel worthy to wear one. A crown to her was a reminder that woman is the crowning glory of creation. She struggled through what that meant, and there did come a time after really reading this book that she could finally see herself as God made her and she could wear her crown. Deb past around the crown and also passed out a bowl of Lifesavers for each of us to take and stash different places to remind us of the fact that God has made us women all lifesavers! These Lifesavers will be on the information desk for you to take, as many as you like.
Deb also wrote this: The last few years I have watched a television program..called True Beauty. It is a show that has "beautiful" contestant...each vying for the title, the most beautiful person in America. What the contestants don't know...is that they are secretly being watch ..and that the judges have put traps in place...circumstances where the contestants can be judged...not on their outward beauty..but on their inward beauty. How will they react to a homeless person or the opportunity to get ahead in the contest by cheating or stealing. Yes, all the people are gorgeous and handsome people on the outside...but one by one each is disqualified when their true nature or their lack of inner beauty is revealed. The best part of the show is when the judges show the contestants the videotapes of their sins or indiscretions. It is always amazing how 99% of the time the contestants say..that is not really who I am...yet there it is in black and white for them and the whole world to see. I love this show because I think this is exactly what it will be like in Heaven...God sees the inner man (or woman) as the case may be. We will have no place to hide...and so to me, our beauty is really revealed on the inside..
A woman, at rest, is a woman of beauty. Women who are striving can be so disturbing. What she is saying is...all is not well in the world.
And so we read that beauty invites, beauty nourishes, beauty comforts, beauty inspires..Beauty draws us to God. So we now understand that the essence of Gd is beauty..and that we too have this essence of God's nature and character in us. It is part of what we are made for...to reveal His beauty in the earth.
The next two question are :
What are some aspects of the power of beauty and how have you experienced the healing, restorative power of beauty through another person?
I (Deb D.) don't know if this happened to anyone else but I noticed the words that I had in both questions had the same meaning just different words. We all have read above and in the book that beauty invites (doesn't hurry), nourishes (positive), and comforts (non judgemental). The words in the brackets are what when an other woman gives these to me, she helps to heal my hurts. If a woman hurries to hear me, it doesn't feel inviting, if she is critical, it doesn't nourish my soul, and if I feel judgement it doesn't comfort me. Everyone of us live in this fast paced world of ours, and we all face the one big question of how can we be inviting? I would love to hear some feed back on this because I don't have all the answers.
On the other side of this it is such an uplifting thing to think that, yes, God always has time for us and that He really wants us to come to Him with our hurts, and it is His very nature to want to nourish and comfort us. This book has helped me see God is not like my earthly Father. I had too long put Him in that mold. He was to me like my earthly father, distant, not knowing much about me, and was happy with me as long as I didn't get in trouble (sin). But if I did look out, there was judgement, fear and anger.
There were a lot of times in my life I just gave up on myself because I could not believe that God would want anything to do with me and my struggles.
God had given me a verse to share with you all in I Samuel 12:19-24. First let me say that prior in these verses in Samuel chapter 8 they demanded a king to judge them like all the nations. They were the only nation with the one true God as their King and they wanted to be like all the other nations? When Samuel prays to God asking what to do God responds "Heed the voice of the people in all that they say to you; for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected Me, that I should not reign over them."
"However, you shall solemnly forewarn them and show them the behavior of the king who will reign over them." Which Samuel in length did, and it ended with verse 18 And you will cry out in that day because of your king whom you have chosen for yourselves, and the Lord will not hear you in that day.
19 Nevertheless the people refused to obey. They replied "No, but we will have a king over us, that we may be like all the nations." And God said to Samuel heed their voice and make them a king. So they know their choice is not going to end well.
I Samuel 12:19-24 And all the people said to Samuel, "Pray for your servants to the Lord your God, that we may not die, for we have added to all our sins the evil of asking a king for ourselves." Then Samuel said to the people, "Do not fear, You have done all this wickedness; yet do not turn aside from following the Lord; but serve the Lord with all your heart. And do not turn aside; for then you would go after empty things which cannot profit or deliver, for they are nothing. For the Lord will not forsake His people, for His great name's sake because it has pleased the Lord to make you His people. Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you; but I will teach you the good and the right way. Only fear the Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart; for consider what great things He has done for you."
I think these verses can speak to us women with relational voids in our lives. God made us relational to fill ourselves with Him. But sometimes we want to pursue those things that the world tells us we need to be happy, or we simply don't like to have to wait on God timing for the things we want so we are willing to take less then we should. We think like Eve, God is holding out on us....but really I think sometimes we deep down often know it will not end well when we demand and take our way. And when we are hurting again after we take our own road God is calling us back because it pleases Him to make us His.
If we just would not turn aside, for then you would go after empty things which cannot profit or deliver, for they are nothing. There God tells us when we fill our relational needs outside of Him being first in our lives it will not end well. He will never forsake us no matter what we have done or how long we have strayed away from Him. Just like with Israel, he is ready to restore us.
All the groups ended with the same verse Hebrews 4:14-16 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
Did you see that, He sympathizes with our weaknesses, He wants to give us mercy and grace when we are hurting. He is inviting, He wants to be our comfort, to nourish and inspire us. How could we ever doubt His goodness towards us?
From the fall in the garden we are from this point on cursed...with futility and failure. When a man goes bad, as every man has after the fall, he either becomes a weak, passive man-strength surrendered- or he becomes a violent, driven man-strength unglued. When a woman falls from grace, she either becomes a dominating, controlling woman or a desolate, mousy woman.
Fallen Eve controls her relationships. She refuses to be vulnerable. And if she cannot secure her relationships, then she kills her heart's longing for intimacy so she will be safe and in control.
Women dominate and control because they fear their vulnerability. Controlling women tend to be very well regarded in this fallen world of ours. We are the ones to receive corporate promotions. We are can-do, bottom-line, get it done women. We may have never considered that by living a controlling and domineering life, that we are really refusing to trust God.
Which way do we fall and the important women in our lives?
Underneath our sin is a deep fear. Of what are you most afraid?
And in our fears we look to other things to satisfy us. We indulge in food, in romance novels, shopping, soap operas, etc. The list is virtually endless. We somehow know we are substituting these things for the intimacy we lack, but it is much easier to cover up our need than to admit it and to allow our fallenness and our deep ache to draw us closer to God.
And that is the beauty of this book. For the first time in my life, it has revealed deep truths that are allowing us-giving us permission to recognize our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities, our sins and the sins against us--that brought us to where we are...and so we can, perhaps for the first time in our lives, go to God with the question that we have wanted answered our whole lives...Am I lovely? Do you see me? Are you (God) captivated by what You find in me?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Contents for Discussion on Chapter 1
Deb S. started out by telling us how she came to lead this study. How she was going through a really rough time in her life and this book provided some of the healing she needed at that time. But she will tell you it wasn't easy and it wasn't overnight. The book moved her so much that she had been wanting to do this with the women at our church so that they too could overcome their deep wounds as well. This summer through prayer and talking to other women it became apparent that God wanted this for the women of our church. Rosemary Bloom also had been reading the book and wished everyone could experience reading the book as well. Joan Anderson helped by purchasing a large number of the books for us and by being available to help any woman who needed some extra support. And judging from the number of women who have received a copy the interest is high for Captivating.
We have to consider this a study of discovery, a journey, really.
Each woman will be at a different place in her life...spiritually, emotionally, etc. What one woman may experiencing may be completely different than what other women are experiencing.
The wonderful thing is that God knows where each of us is at and has destined us to be here.
The three rules we have even for the blog are:
Confidentiality...what happens in the group stays in the group.
We are not here to fix each other.
We are only to offer advice only when it is requested.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
God created us as women to hear His image, in our hearts. Is this a new thought for you?
I would have to say for myself the first time I read this book was the very first time I had ever really thought about it that way. I hope some of you reading this will share what that means to you.
The most interesting thing discussed during our group time was what was some our favorite stories or movies? In them, who do you want to be? There was Finding Nemo, Princess Warrior, Enchanted, Count of Monte Cristo, and Gone with the Wind. The women's choice of characters they wanted to be was so diverse along with the reasons!
The stories we love reveal much of the secret desires of our hearts. And how true this was! I would love for you all the share your favorites stories and characters with us and why you love them so much.
Every woman, in her heart of hearts, longs to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a heroic adventure and to unveil beauty.
We discussed what it means to us to be romanced. We also discussed the question of who is beautiful to us and why? I think all the women picked the inner beauty of a woman as the highest beauty a woman can possess. I would love to hear other women's thoughts on this as well.
A Loss of Heart
How have you felt the message of "try harder" come to you? How has it made you feel and/or expressed itself in your life?
I love how Stasi states in the book that some times we feel we are not enough, and at the same time we can be too much. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result being shame for many of us.
Please share your favorite parts of the book.
This chapter seem to have a lot of questions, but in the next chapters Stasi and John will show us what God really thinks about us and that is what is so life changing. Hopefully, next study I will have more to share with you. Every one's slow to speak the first study, and it would have helped if I hadn't been sitting in the back of the room by the refrigerate motor! By the way we will be meeting from now on in the large room off the fellowship hall in the back of the church. The side door will be open. Hope to see you there.
We have to consider this a study of discovery, a journey, really.
Each woman will be at a different place in her life...spiritually, emotionally, etc. What one woman may experiencing may be completely different than what other women are experiencing.
The wonderful thing is that God knows where each of us is at and has destined us to be here.
The three rules we have even for the blog are:
Confidentiality...what happens in the group stays in the group.
We are not here to fix each other.
We are only to offer advice only when it is requested.
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
God created us as women to hear His image, in our hearts. Is this a new thought for you?
I would have to say for myself the first time I read this book was the very first time I had ever really thought about it that way. I hope some of you reading this will share what that means to you.
The most interesting thing discussed during our group time was what was some our favorite stories or movies? In them, who do you want to be? There was Finding Nemo, Princess Warrior, Enchanted, Count of Monte Cristo, and Gone with the Wind. The women's choice of characters they wanted to be was so diverse along with the reasons!
The stories we love reveal much of the secret desires of our hearts. And how true this was! I would love for you all the share your favorites stories and characters with us and why you love them so much.
Every woman, in her heart of hearts, longs to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a heroic adventure and to unveil beauty.
We discussed what it means to us to be romanced. We also discussed the question of who is beautiful to us and why? I think all the women picked the inner beauty of a woman as the highest beauty a woman can possess. I would love to hear other women's thoughts on this as well.
A Loss of Heart
How have you felt the message of "try harder" come to you? How has it made you feel and/or expressed itself in your life?
I love how Stasi states in the book that some times we feel we are not enough, and at the same time we can be too much. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result being shame for many of us.
Please share your favorite parts of the book.
This chapter seem to have a lot of questions, but in the next chapters Stasi and John will show us what God really thinks about us and that is what is so life changing. Hopefully, next study I will have more to share with you. Every one's slow to speak the first study, and it would have helped if I hadn't been sitting in the back of the room by the refrigerate motor! By the way we will be meeting from now on in the large room off the fellowship hall in the back of the church. The side door will be open. Hope to see you there.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday September 13, 2010 Chapter 1 The Heart of a Woman
Our first meeting we had over 20 women attend, with Deb Solan leading the study. If you are only able to follow online or miss a study please pick up a note book on the information desk at church with our schedule and the first two lessons, every weeks lesson will be placed there.
I am posting the schedule here as well.
Sept. 12 Lesson 1-Chapter 1- The Heart of a Woman
Sept. 20 Lesson 2-Chapter 2 What Eve Alone Can Tell & Chapter 3 Haunted by a Question
Sept. 27 Lesson 3-Chapter 4 Wounded
Oct. 4 Lesson 4-Chapter 6 Healing the Wound
Oct.11 Lesson 5-Chapter 5 A Special Hatred and Chapter 11 Warrior Princesses
Oct. 18 Lesson 6-Chapter 7 Romanced
Oct.25 Lesson 7-Chapter 9 Arousing Adam
Nov.1 Lesson 8-Chapter 8 Beauty to Unveil
Nov.8 Lesson 9-Chapter 12 An Irreplaceable Role
Nov. 15 Lesson 10-Chapter 10 Mothers, Daughters and Sisters
I am posting the schedule here as well.
Sept. 12 Lesson 1-Chapter 1- The Heart of a Woman
Sept. 20 Lesson 2-Chapter 2 What Eve Alone Can Tell & Chapter 3 Haunted by a Question
Sept. 27 Lesson 3-Chapter 4 Wounded
Oct. 4 Lesson 4-Chapter 6 Healing the Wound
Oct.11 Lesson 5-Chapter 5 A Special Hatred and Chapter 11 Warrior Princesses
Oct. 18 Lesson 6-Chapter 7 Romanced
Oct.25 Lesson 7-Chapter 9 Arousing Adam
Nov.1 Lesson 8-Chapter 8 Beauty to Unveil
Nov.8 Lesson 9-Chapter 12 An Irreplaceable Role
Nov. 15 Lesson 10-Chapter 10 Mothers, Daughters and Sisters
Friday, September 10, 2010
Let's Get Started
Our first meeting will be Monday and I will try to post a few days after for those of you who are unable to attend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)